Top Ten Signs a Social Media Expert Isn’t

March 29th, 2012

Howdy folks, I’ve been hit lately by a rash of sales pitches from social media “experts,” and the only rational response is to make fun of them. So with a nod to Letterman, here are my Top Ten Signs a “Social Media Expert” isn’t.

  1. He (and it’s probably a “he”) thinks Twitter follow-bots are a GREAT idea.
  2. He tells you to focus your outreach work on Google Plus.
  3. He thinks “email is dead.” (Note: bonus points if he says it in an email.)
  4. When you follow his Twitter feed, he sends you an automated sales pitch via DM.
  5. He thinks that the number of people who “Like” a Facebook page is all that matters.
  6. He automatically posts EVERY ONE of his tweets to Facebook.
  7. He thinks social media is the answer to all communications problems.
  8. He has fewer followers than your cat.
  9. His previous jobs have all been in sales.
  10. And finally: the only thing he measures is the size of your bank account.

What’d I miss? Add your own suggestions in the comments!

cpd

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13 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Berg  |  March 29th, 2012 at 4:32 pm

    #11 – He calls himself a social media “expert” – a field that is constantly being reinvented.

  • 2. Matt Burkhardt  |  March 29th, 2012 at 4:38 pm

    Excellent list!

  • 3. Kevin Bondelli  |  March 29th, 2012 at 4:43 pm

    The biggest warning sign:

    Describes her/himself as a “guru” or “ninja” (exception when they are legitimately a spiritual leader or martial arts master)

  • 4. Joe Flood  |  March 29th, 2012 at 5:06 pm

    They can’t write more than 140 characters.

  • 5. Evan  |  March 29th, 2012 at 5:29 pm

    What Berg said should be #1. Anyone who claims to be a “social media expert” is to be avoided.

  • 6. Trish  |  March 30th, 2012 at 6:56 am

    His Facebook/Twitter icon is fuzzy and half the logo is cropped out.

  • 7. Theodora  |  March 30th, 2012 at 3:20 pm

    His tweets have 17 hashtags.

  • 8. Annie  |  March 30th, 2012 at 5:14 pm

    He never uses the word “content.” Seriously.

  • 9. cpd  |  March 30th, 2012 at 5:26 pm

    What is this “content” you speak of? Social media is soooooooo beyond that. Dude. <- irony.

  • 10. Steven Kleine  |  March 30th, 2012 at 6:24 pm

    Great list. Here are a few more I’ve encountered:

    They delete negative Facebook posts without trying to connect with the user to take the discussion offline and try to solve the problem.

    They guarantee a certain amount of likes or followers

    They have never heard of Mashable.

    The run contests on Facebook where entry is tied to liking something. (FB hates this and will take down a page if they see it).

    They have no experience in marketing.

    They do not have access to social media monitoring tool.

    However, I have to agree that the #1 sign is what Berg and Kevin said. Never trust someone who says they are an expert!

  • 11. Kerri Karvetski  |  March 30th, 2012 at 9:34 pm

    NO. 11: Calls him/herself guru, maven, superstar, rockstar, ninja or METACOG (I kid you not)

  • 12. Marc Baizman  |  April 1st, 2012 at 4:53 pm

    He’s telling you to GET ON PINTEREST NOW!

    He’s never heard of HubSpot.

    And +1 for identifying himself as “Social media expert/guru/ninja/rockstar/manevn/etc…”

  • 13. L  |  April 2nd, 2012 at 1:19 pm

    For the record, HubSpot has a “Social Media Scientist” who calls himself an expert. And a scientist. Which he is neither.

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